living with hiv

[(deleted)]

It's been a nightmare when I first found out the doctor offered me a senitive which I refused.
Then the relationship I was in left me I was walking around still living my life doing the things I needed to do to live but I felt like I was on television nothing felt real.

That was 1995 since than I have gotten into another relationship with a woman that turned out to be a cronic drug user and taker that I left after a few year's.

Now it's 2007 I am single full of life feeling great but alone which I have problems with.
I refuse to date women without the illness and I don't know where to find women with the illness.
I live in Toronto I know there is women out there who are like me that don't fit into the main stream of people with the illness.

Johnmarkus

[(deleted)]

I would like to let you know that you're not alone; I also awaken to a nightmare that wouldn't go away. I was so depress when the doctors told me that devastating news. They might as well had pulled the plug on me. That was several years ago; I'm still having a problem coping with my condition, but I realize that I can live my life to the fullest, but the problem I'm having now is meeting someone just like me and want to build a foundation together. I meet men everyday, but they don't have a clue of my condition. That's because I shy away from them, not wanting to expose anybody to my condition. I am an attractive woman and seeking male companionship, possibly, a relationship. I'm still not over my boyfriend who died from AIDS almost a year ago.

112Jenetta

[sexyseira]

It's a comfort to know that someone else out there feels like I do. I've been positive for approximately 15 years and I am very uncomfortable with disclosing my status. I finally found someone who I was able to tell the whole truth to but we have had a tumultuous relationship for about 5 years which recently ended. Now I'm left being a single parent with hiv and fears about being alone because I feel my heart cannot take the rejection that may come from disclosure.

I believe that my diagnosis took a stab at my confidence and left me feeling like a scared little girl. Although most of the time I feel blessed to be alive, healthy with a healthy daughter; but other times I feel as though my life has been robbed from me.

Does someone like me every get over that feeling? My reality is sometimes so sharp that I welcome any break I may have from it.

I took a sought sites like this to meet people who are like me so that the risk is minimal as far as disclosure goes but I'm having a little ambivalent about reaching out in cyberspace.

[(deleted)]

The biggest fear of living with HIV to me, is not knowing the outcome. I don't just mean, rather I'm going to die due to complications regarding this disease; I am also speaking on relationship wise. I would like to be married someday, but I find it hard to meet someone with my status who may share the same interest out there in the real world; so that's why I turn to the internet. This internet thing is new to me. Most men on the site speak of settling down with that special someone, but how serious are they? I met someone on site, and found out he was more interested in sex, s--, and more s--. I want and need something more than just physical and s----l attraction. So, I know that special man is some where out there in cyberspace. Until then, I will focus on making my life better.

[(deleted)]

`Okay what can i say here, So we are hiv positive but we are not alone in our feelings and our fears, for the future we all would like to meet that special someone, that would be our Soul mate and the love of our lives,

I Think the biggest thing here is not to give up, but to keep on going, We are entitled to a Loving and Caring Relationship just as everyone else is, whether we are positive or not, If i met someone who was not positive and he did not want me because of my status, i would wonder wheather he really loved me in the first place.

You see i am a very Loving , Caring and full of Laughter Type of girl, who knows her Worth, We all have to know our Worth, We are not just the Hiv People over their, We are Special, with alot to Contribute to Society, So chin up and dont give up, Their is a Saying you know , and that is Better Must Come.

[(deleted)]

`am in deep thought.i dont know if iam infected or not.but my heart tells me am infected.i dont know how am i gona live this.Am thinking how am i gonaa face my parents.i have been having these fevers.diarea.also i have developed rash on my face.Am thinking of getting out of this country and live on my own

[redwine54]

`THIS site makes me feel like crying tears of joy that maybe I can find a soul mate. I AM HIV+ and I feel so lonely. The people that were in my life besides, my grown kids push me away when I told about my decease, now the closes man in my life is God. He knows I would like a comforter on earth someone who I enjoy life with do things we never did before, live happily with each other. I don't think that's so much to ask for, and or even as a friend which I cant seem to find either, but I have hope and you should to.

[carlos22]

`Hey guys i am new to this site but my problem is more with ocd than hiv i dont know if i have it but i have had a lot of unprotected S-- before. It makes me so sad to read some of your comments in here. I dont know why they have not found a cure for this. I know many of you will be so happy when that happens. Have faith and pray for me :)