idk how to tell my family

[(deleted)]

Ok so I have manny things going on in my life atm, my mom is Mexican and she is old fashimed , she tells me I'm suposed to be with a girl and all of that stuff she can't acept that I'm gay , she has gone threw depression cuz of my fault and its hard to see her like this , I got tested 1 year ago and I was negituve my firstt bf ever and now of had a couple and got tested 3 month ago and was still negituve I get tested the next month cuz my bf has a rash on his penuis so we both get tested at our local vac clinic for free like uslly and well my test results came out postive and his negituve I don't know how to tell my mom about this I've told my bf and he took it really bad , and now I have to go to so manny clinics just to get help that there really far away and idk how to tell my mom about this , how to tell her that im going to die cuz I was stupid and didn't use protection, I came postive 1 month ago now and I'm still not takeing medication they say they have to check my blood and see if the pills even works for me, they told me I'm on the window period stage I really don't know what that means , or what I'm going to have to go threw, I'm 19 and idk what to do

[jilliann1]

`First things first. You are not going to die from this. Many people live long ,healthy lives being hiv positive. Second of all you are not responsible for anyones depression. Your mother is not living your life you are. If for some reason you cannot get past this,contact me and I will give you my phone # and you can call me.

[(deleted)]

`thats what i thguht but i havent gone to the doctor and its gonna take months till i actully get blood work done and idk how manny starnds i have and if the pill is gonna work for me and they say the pill is so strong that it messes up ure liver that, thats how ppl die cuz the pill is so strong it messed up ure system and i really dont wanna go to the clinic and they tell me the pill isnt gonna work and i only have a certain amount of time left before i die

[(deleted)]

`Say dude, Listen to Jillian and what she had to say...she's right. You just tested poz a month or so ago, so there's no need to panic. I've been poz since 1996 and I have never had any problems from my meds except the very first ones I was put on (about 6 months), and the only side affects was diarrhea, so they changed meds and no problems since. I've also known people who have been poz over 20 yrs and have never had to take meds...just depends on your body chemistry/metabolism. Everything you eat, drink, or take into your system is going to be filtered through your liver...you can't get around that. As for your liver, alcohol is your worst enemy...and not good with meds either. Jillian also mentioned you having to live your life for you and not your mom..been there, done that...your mom will always love you no matter what because you're her child. You didn't mention what part of Texas you are in, but surely there is a clinic not too far to go to for your health. Just like Jillian said, you can contact me also, and I would be glad to talk to you via email or phone. Hang in there dude...it's really not that bad. I had a heart attack at 38yo (before I was poz), a blood clot in my intestine at 42yo(because of the previous attack), and then had another heart attack requiring a quintuple by-pass at 47yo. I'll be 55 this month...you are way too young to give up on life, so reach out to someone--anyone. There are support and help numbers and sites on most of these poz sites. Try HIVAIDSTribe.com or pozpersonals.com for support and info (these are good for the support--and free to join), and there are people all over rural Texas that may direct you to the closest clinic. Once you are in the system, you usually only have to go every 3-4 months for an appt....so for your health, distance shouldn't be an excuse. Hang in there and don't sweat the small stuff. Take care.