What Frightens You Most About Living With HIV?

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The number of answers to this question are likely to be as varied as there are people, and most are probably valid. Whether it's fear of rejection by others, losing hope of finding true love again, or the terror of your 'secret' being discovered in the workplace and shared...all are scary.

Society tends to assign what I call a 'stigma score' to illnesses. That is, if you've been diagnosed with breast cancer, chances are greater that this will elicit widespread, immediate sympathy and support in comparison to others learning you've been diagnosed as HIV positive (unless, perhaps, you're an innocent child born with the virus). It's a shameful reality, but one that's real. Reality bites at times.

I hope those reading this will not lose hope, and will begin facing your own personal fears one step at a time. It's not easy, but it can be done! Some of you will soar right away (if you're not already done so); others will require more time.

Examine what scares you the most, then look at why it does. Ask yourself what you can do to alleviate fear(s). Set short term goals for yourself. Get support from whomever you feel will be willing to help--often an understanding soul is closer than you think. Start charting your progress, too. If you begin working on your fears in April let's say, monitor how you feel for three months, and examine the accomplishments you've made during this time. It's also important to take mental or written notes as well on areas where you feel improvement is needed. Something so simple can prove so liberating in the end.

It's my genuine wish that we'll all relegate fears--fears that can keep us immobilized and prevent us from living full, wonderful lives--to the back of our minds, locked away & free from any chance of them being unleashed to continue harming us emotionally and mentally. Be well, everyone, and let's continue to keep each other uplifted and filled with encouragement and hope, rather than living in the darkness that accompanies being frightened. Life itself is scary enough at times--we shouldn't permit any more of it to occupy our lives. :D

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I understand what you mean about the stigma of the illness you mention. Many are sympathetic to other illnesses and diseases but when it comes down to hiv and aids its like something people judge and don't have respect. Well not all ppl; there are still a few ppl that care and respect, but very few. Today I even more notice how ppl can be, thats a different topic. I wanted to say thanks for posting your post. Im glad that u feel better now about all this subject, and I hope you continue to be happy and peaceful.

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Thanks, berrypunchlove, for your kind words! I found your message thoughtful, and it was uplifting to read.

I hope that you, too, will resolve to be as happy as you can be in spite of what society does or does not feel about 'people like us'. There are still people out there who do care, though I agree with you that sometimes it may seem difficult to find them. The same could be said of finding quality people in general, so don't be discouraged! Keep your head up, your heart open and your mind focused on things positive. You'll find that the negatives of life will no longer prove to be detractors for you over time. Like an eagle, you'll stretch out your wings and soar higher and higher above all the pettiness, ignorance and negativity of the physcial realm of life. And, as you fly, look around for me--chances are I'll be sailing somewhere nearby! You are loved and cherished, berry. I wish you the absolute best in life, always.

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`This Topic indeed touches the heatrs of us all, When i was initially diagnosed with hiv i had so many fears and anxieties that i dont think i could pinpoint a particular anxiety if i tried, but you know time has a way of setting us straight and helping us to accept the things,that we now we cannot change at least for know.

With the acceptance comes the understanding that their are Great things out their for us and all we need to do is quote " Soar and Stretch Our Wings Like the Eagles."

Though know,Some of us,Can talk about Soaring, I Want those to know it was not easy to reach this Level and it did not occur over night it took time and for me alot of Prayers to reach the level i am at know, What i am saying is whatever works for you, Whatever can get you to this level of Soaring aim for it and dont look back, no matter what people say or feel, It is what you feel which is what i think at this stage is more important. Be Positive in everything you do, And rather then destroy yourself, build yourself up in every way you can by taking positive moves in your lives , so that you can grow to have a Great and Fullfilling Life,

Know i feel like a Mini Psychriatrist but i hope this helps others who have all these fears and Anxieties that are weighing them down to just let them all go ,

[judyellowfish]

`though if they accept me or not i real do not care because true friends will always be their.

[judyellowfish]

`I first found out that i was HIV positive in 2007 I was very ill and thought that i was going to die. I had a bad case of ammonia But though prays and inner strength and faith i am still here and live a healthy life. I never told any of my friends or family only my mate of almost 10 years knows. I am happy to be here with my children and grand children. Sometimes i say it is a reason why this has happen to me maybe i am suppose to help people in this situation ,

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`Society cannot fully understand an illness which most people who have it , try to hide. It is down to positive people to help them understand, and realise that it hasn't gone away. How can someone who knows nothing about it be expected to understand and accept it, if those of us living with it treat it as a dirty secret. Most people will say they don't know anyone personally living with it, I bet they do, they just don't know it!

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` I have known about my status since June of '98. The worst 2 things are (to me at least are) being alone and the whole "Sword of Damocles" thing and you put up with more crap than you would normally do out of the person you h--k up with after you find out about your status. Sword of Damocles : felling like "maybe they're right that HIV/AIDS people live "normal" lives now and when you try to plan for your future then you get knocked down for a month or 10,get discouraged, get better and go through it all over again. As far as the ones you h--k up with (especially if they are non poz) talk to their friends,family and even get a full background check BEFORE you commit to them(I made the mistake of not doing that).